Bullet proof your wedding plans

I've seen a few wedding incidents that were about as embarrassing as looking through a keyhole and seeing another eye!! So I’ve put together a list of hints & tips to help you make sure your day runs smoothly.

Turn into Bridezilla!!

It’s your big day and you're spending a lot of money so don't let anyone dictate how things are "traditionally" done. If you want anything a little different don’t be afraid to insist on it and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise (and that includes your Mother).

Your fee hinges on your punctuality!!

On your big day there are a number of professionals who you’ll be relying on to be punctual. I remember once hearing a bride on the phone asking a band manager how much they charged, after they gave her quote she immediately asked how much they charged if they were late! While said in a joking fashion the point was made very clear – if they wanted the agreed fee - arrive at the agreed time!

For more pearls of wisdom on booking entertainment please Click Here

“Uncle Paddy is face down at the gates of the Hotel”

To prevent guests from stumbling in late, ask your groomsmen and bridesmaids to encourage the guests to go straight from the church to the hotel. You’re paying the hotel for your reception not the publican and warm flat champagne just doesn’t taste the same!

Get rid of the tumbleweed and crickets!

When viewing the hotel double check they have the facilities to play background music in the reception area. You’ve got two families arriving in the hotel who don’t know each other and you don’t need them walking into an awkward silence.

Let there be light!

Ask the banquet manager to have small candles placed on all the tables in the reception area. It really helps creates an atmosphere and is often overlooked.

Hey, the Magician looks like the Pied Piper!

I love performing magic for children of all ages. The only thing I ask is that they don't follow me from table to table .I once witnessed a waitress spill coffee on a six year old girl. She had being following me!!

The only people to blame were the parents as both I and the waiting staff had asked them numerous times to seat the child. Colouring books are a great distraction and a special return visit from the Magician is no problem, in fact it would be a pleasure!

Do you really think your Granny digs the Zeppelin?

Don’t leave the choice of music solely to the DJ. He may have spent the last year in Ibiza wearing a gas mask and a whistle around his neck. Make sure to give him a play list of your favourite music and remember you’ll have guests of all ages. Make a point to ask your parents about music they’d enjoy – you never know they might actually dance which is always good for a laugh!

Give the speech a PG rating

Speaking in public is always nerve wrecking so consider having the speeches at the start of the meal. That way everybody gets to relax and enjoy themselves knowing the dreaded part of the evening is over.

A day or two beforehand, do yourself and the best man a favour and suggest he reads the speech to a sensible friend (not the guy who still thinks it’s funny to give people wedgies). It prevents any unintentional embarrassment - you’d be surprised how often, in a well meaning effort to entertain subjects such as ex girlfriends, lads nights out etc. are brought up.

Is there anybody present who’s sober and responsible?

You're going to have a few drinks so decide on a definite plan for the storage of the gifts & envelopes beforehand. Don’t leave them in your hotel room unless there’s a safe. The best arrangement is to give them your Mother and Father who can organise a safe place for them to be kept- e.g. locked in the boot of the car.

Table Talk

These last couple of tips are on seating which decides how much guests can interact and socialize with each other so don’t let any banquet manager bully into doing it their way unless they can justify why!

The only thing you put on a rectangular table is a coffin!

If at all possible, avoid the traditional long rectangular table. It means nobody can talk or even see the members of the other family. Insist on a round table like everybody else. You want members of both families to be able to converse and get to know each other.

If you try to move her she’ll hit you with her walking stick!

If dining tables have to be moved to clear the dance floor, take it into consideration when planning the table map. Seat older guests at a table that will not be disturbed and make them aware of it . They’ll appreciate your thoughtfulness.

Petit ?? I didn't even know she was there!

Avoid overly elaborate table centrepieces. Instead keep them subtle and low. You’ve toiled over the seating arrangements so don’t spoil it with some sort of triffid monstrosity which blocks everybody’s view of the person opposite and prevents them talking to them.